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Entry tags:	aribeth, fanfiction, neverwinter nights

The Aribeth I Know (Part Five)

Fred, Aribeth, and Lada were about fifty yards from their house, when Fred stopped and hissed, "Hold it. Something's not right." He glanced into the woods on the left, then across the fields to to their right, and drew his sword, while praying, "Kelemvor, reveal to me the presence of unlife." He looked toward the house and saw the glow of undead auras, clustered around the tool shed, the outhouse, and the gates to the graveyard. None of them seemed any stronger than ghouls or skeletal warriors, so he pulled a pair of bracers out of his belt pouch and whispered, while donning them, "Aribeth, you take Lada to the house. I'll be in shortly." He grumbled, "Should have taken my shield with me. Oh well. Guess it just means I can use both hands on my sword."

Lada looked around, sniffing curiously, while Aribeth nodded and took her arm, drawing a sword with her free hand.

Aribeth whispered, "Should I join you once she's safe?"

"Nah," Fred whispered, "It'll be fine. There's only a half-dozen or so, and none of them is any more dangerous than a ghoul. I should be done by the time you get the kettle on."

"The last time you said that, I had to call in a flamestrike," Aribeth shot back, grinning. "Speaking of which, what's in your wand holsters?"

Fred rolled up his sleeves, revealing a wand in a leather holster on each forearm. "Wands of the Heavens, as usual. If you hear flamestrikes, activate the protection shell, ok?"

"I will," Aribeth said, "Now that I know you have adequate fire power." She stretched up to kiss him and growled, "You'd better come back to me in one piece, or I'll be very, very annoyed."

Lada whimpered, then meowed sadly at Fred.

"Umm...you just meowed at me," Fred said.

"Umm...umm...I don't know. Go. Whatever it is, it stinks!" Lada announced in a huff.

Fred leaned over and kissed Lada's forehead. "That's better," he said, then sheathed his sword, plunging them into darkness, before slipping away into the shadows.

Aribeth said softly, "This way, Lada. The sooner we're in the house, the sooner he'll be able to cut loose."

Lada took Aribeth's arm and followed her into the house. Just inside the door, Aribeth reached above the lintel and felt around in the shadows. Meanwhile, Lada wrinkled her nose as if she were smelling a bucket of week-old fish guts.

From the shadows in the corner farthest from the door, a dry, rasping voice said, "You're not going to get rid of me that easily, traitor."

As the speaker stepped out of the shadows, Lada's fear shot up, past terror, until something within her snapped and she snarled, her robe and slippers shredding around her body as she transformed into a lioness and leaped on the crypt spawn.

Aribeth spun at the sound of the crypt spawn's voice and crouched, both swords in her hands, a spell on her lips...only to step back and watch in awe as the lioness reduced it to chunks in a matter of moments. Outside, the sounds of flamestrikes coming down in the yard were almost enough to drown the crypt spawn's cries of surprise and fear as the lioness took it apart in savage sweeps of her claws. When all that was left of the crypt spawn was a broken skull, the lioness lay down on the floor and began to bat it between her paws, like a cat batting a ball.

Aribeth slowly approached the lioness, holding out her hand, and gently crooning, "Lada? It's Aribeth. Talk to me, love."

The lioness put a paw over the skull and growled defensively, "My skull! My toy!"

"Yes," Aribeth agreed. "It's your toy. It's all yours."

"My toy!" the lioness growled, then began batting the skull between her paws again. "Good toy. Safe. Not strange. Skulls are good."

Another flamestrike landed just outside the kitchen door, rattling the house with the thunder of its blast. Aribeth's attention snapped to the blast, then back to Lada. "Can you talk to me, Lada? It's ok, I promise. No more strange things. It's safe here." Another flamestrike exploded near the house. Aribeth winced. So much for 'no more strange things.' She sighed heavily. "Fred loves you, Lada. He'll be very sad if you don't come back to him."

The lioness humphed. "Fred went away. Left me alone. Too much, too much, too much, too much." The lioness covered her head with her paws, whimpering, and shrank back into her human form, leaving Lada curled up on the floor of the living room, surrounded by the pieces of the crypt spawn.

Aribeth picked Lada up in her arms and carried her up the stairs to the spare bedroom. After tucking her into bed, she pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed, crooning gently to her. "It's ok, Lada. You're safe here. Nobody's going to hurt you."

"Never safe," Lada whimpered softly. "No such thing as safe. Safe doesn't exist."

Fred bounded up the stairs, calling out, "Everyone ok? What happened downstairs? It looks like you went berserk on that Velsharoonie!"

Aribeth snorted. Trust Fred to come up with a term for Velsharoon's worshipers that was faintly insulting, without being blatantly so.

"Lada did," Aribeth said. She looked down at Lada and said softly, "I'm sorry, love. I wish your introduction had been a better one." Then she looked up at Fred and said, "She said Bast sent her? Well, Bast made her a lioness in the process."

"A lioness?" Fred asked, "As in, she's a shapeshifter?"

"That's right," Aribeth said. "When the crypt spawn came out of hiding, she transformed and hit it like a hive of bees hitting a bear. It didn't stand a chance."
"Excellent!" Fred said. "That's wonderful news!"

"Not really," Aribeth said, looking down at Lada sadly. "She's not sane right now. Speaking of which, we need to keep the skull, in case she remembers it the next time she transforms. She declared that the skull is her toy."

Fred winced and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh...my. Umm...So we really, really need a cleric who can cure insanity, huh? Maybe Ingmir?"

"Maybe," Aribeth agreed. "It's sad...she said there's no such thing as safe. Was her old life really that bad?"

"I...never told you about her past," Fred said. "You know she was born blind, and crippled? Well...her parents didn't want a blind, crippled child. And her entire childhood was spent trying to pay her parents back for letting her live."

"That's..." Aribeth shook her head, words for how disgusted she was failing her. She bent down and kissed Lada's cheek, whispering, "Sweet dreams, love," then rose to her feet and took Fred's arm, saying softly, "Hold me? I...I think I need it as much as she would, if she were awake."

Shortly after dawn, Aribeth and Fred were awakened by the sound of Lada screaming. They ran for her room, and found her sitting in the middle of her bed, clutching the bedding around herself.

"Lada?" Fred called, "What's wrong?"

Aribeth swept in and sat on the edge of the bed, then said gently, "It's ok, Lada. You're safe here."

"I...I...I dreamed," Lada stammered, "I dreamed I was in some kind of weird fantasy world, where you carried a glowing sword, and I turned into a lioness, and...and...and...and I could see!"

Fred joined Aribeth on the edge of the bed and reached out to touch Lada's arm. "It's not a dream, love. You really are here, with us. You said Bast sent you, and I think I know why...but the most important thing is that you're here, and I love you."

"Oh..." Lada said softly. "Umm...umm...umm...Then don't you dare die again! Not that you could have picked dying...then don't die without me again!"

"Umm...ok," Fred said. "So...what do you want me to do with your skull?"

Aribeth acked and swatted Fred's thigh. "Be nice!"

"Umm...isn't it on top of my neck?" Lada asked.

"No, not that one," Fred said. "The one in the living room."

"In the living room?" Lada asked. "What did I do now?"

"Shredded a crypt spawn," Fred said with a shrug. "Good thing, too. She could have been annoying if you hadn't stopped her so effectively."

"A...crypt spawn?" Lada said, confused. "What's a crypt spawn?"

"It's a kind of undead creature," Fred said. "Sort of like a lich, but less powerful."

"A ...lich?" Lada asked. "Like in Dungeons and Dragons? But they're not real!"

"They are here," Fred said. "And you shredded something very like one."

"And how could I have done anything like...but I'm useless!" Lada protested. "I don't do...you must be confused!"

"No, Lada," Aribeth said gently. "He's not confused at all. I saw you do it. You turned into a lioness and shredded the crypt spawn like...how did Fred put it....like a cat through a demon?"

"Oh," Lada said in a very small voice. "Umm, that's what I'm supposed to do, I guess." She looked at Fred miserably and wailed, "I did something right today...and you're not going to let me forget it, are you?"

"No, I'm not," Fred laughed. "It goes on the calendar with all the other right things you've done." He grinned and teased, "You realize, of course, that the list of right things is so long that I can't even find the calendar any more."

"You can't find it because you died, and we're not at home any more!" Lada yelled. "Then again, the state repossessed the home, because you never got around to writing a will, so nobody has the home!"

Fred eeped. "Umm...I'm sorry. I...wasn't expecting to die like that, you know. It was...a real surprise. Even more of a surprise when Father offered me the chance to help save this world. Not that the job is done yet...."

"That's true," Aribeth said softly. "We've both been so concerned with staying alive, we only yesterday had the chance to think about what happened and realize that we needed to go back and finish the job." She blinked and said thoughtfully, "In fact, we had just reached that conclusion when you were shoved through the portal."

"Yes," Lada said, with a heavy sigh, "because my job is damage control, and always has been." Then she gasped and whimpered, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be such a bitch!"

Fred reached out and pulled Lada into his arms. "You're not a bitch," he said firmly, "and you never have been."

Lada cuddled against Fred, finally relaxing, her eyes half-closed as she let herself rest in his arms.

Aribeth smiled and brushed Lada's hair back from her face, then whispered, "You really do look like you could be my human twin. I wonder how that happened."

"I don't know," Fred whispered, with a playful smile, "but I'm very glad of it. She even translates for me like you do, so I guess she's your twin in more than just looks."

Aribeth saw the way Fred's gaze was traveling over her body, and blushed all the way down to her ankles.

"But...I don't look anything like you," Lada protested, "You're pretty...I think?...and thin!"

"Thank you," Aribeth said, smiling. "And you are just as pretty, and just as thin. Well, at least, as thin as a human can be, anyway."

"You can see well enough to tell that Aribeth is pretty?" Fred asked. "In that case, you should come look at yourself in the mirror."

"Mirror?" Lada asked, confused, "OK...well...I guess I did, didn't I? OK...."

Fred slipped off the bed and offered Lada a hand. Aribeth did the same on her other side.

Lada swallowed and took both hands, then followed the two into their bedroom, where they guided her to stand in front of a full-length mirror. Lada stood, staring into the mirror in disbelief, for several minutes, then stammered, "Th...that's not me. Is this one of those magic mirror things? I must be having trouble figuring out how to do this vision thing."

Fred chuckled and said, "Yes, that's you, love. Now, look at Aribeth, and you'll see that you really do look like you could be her twin." He grinned wickedly and teased, "And you're her twin in more than just looks, too."

"You!" Aribeth squawked, pushing Fred backwards onto the bed. "You....you....you....Arg! You are impossible!"

"Huh?" Lada asked, confused, "What are you talking about?"

Aribeth took Lada's hand and whispered into her ear, "He means, we both respond the same."

Lada's face lit up like a burning building, and she whimpered. After a moment, she yelled at Fred, "You told her about that?"

"Huh? What?" Fred looked up, confused. "I told her what?"

"He didn't have to tell me," Aribeth said. "I just know how his mind works."

"At least he had an insightful babysitter all this time," Lada said. "Thank you. Well, babysitter's not quite the right word. What is the right word?"

"I don't know," Aribeth said, "but I understand what you mean. He really does have a problem with ordinary people, doesn't he?"

"People. Feh," Fred said, grinning. "Don't like 'em. Don't need 'em. Wouldn't live next to one."

"So what am I?" Lada asked, pouting.

"You're Lada," Fred declared, as if that answered everything.

Aribeth giggled and whispered to Lada, "Yes, he does that to me, too."

Lada looked at Aribeth and started laughing. Aribeth hugged her and whispered, "You know, if we were to kick him out and tell him to fix breakfast, we could get in a little more sleep...."

"Are you two plotting against me?" Fred asked, rising up to lean on one elbow as he watched Aribeth and Lada.

"Mmmmm.....uh-huh," Lada purred, stretching like a cat. She stopped and looked over her shoulder, saying, "Umm...no crunchy noises? No pain? I could get used to this."

"That's how I felt when I first got here," Fred said. "For the first time in my life, I had an infinite supply of spoons. Is that cool, or what?"

"An infinite supply of spoons?" Lada marveled. She licked her lips, then squeaked, blushed all the way to her ankles, and buried her face in Aribeth's shoulder.

"Why don't you go down and fix breakfast?" Aribeth suggested to Fred. "I'll see if I can help Lada get...what was your term?... get over herself?"

Fred nodded, hopped to his feet, and slipped on a house robe and slippers, before heading downstairs. Aribeth steered Lada to the bed and said gently, "It's ok, love. There's nothing wrong with thinking that way about your husband or wife. Absolutely nothing."

"But...he's not," Lada said softly. "You're...nevermind."

"He's not?" Aribeth asked, a look of shock on her face. "With as much as he loves you, and you're not married? That doesn't make any sense!"

Lada shrugged, looking down. "My income was based on my being the disabled child of a disabled adult. If I got married, my income would have been cut down to a quarter of what it was. And we were barely surviving on our combined incomes as it was. If we had married, our income would have been cut to a little over half of what it had been separately."

"So...you...couldn't marry....because if you had, you would have starved?" Aribeth asked, shocked.

"And been homeless," Lada said.

"What kind of insane system would do that?" Aribeth asked.

"We called it Social Security," Lada said. "It was what our government did for disabled and elderly people."

"And they punished you for marrying?" Aribeth shook her head, too stunned to say anything more. After a minute, she said, "Well, you're not there any more. Marriage here is a matter between you, the ones you want to marry, and your Gods. The rulers have nothing to do with it."

"Ones?" Lada asked, surprised. "You mean, here, no one cares how many people? Or what gender they are?"

"Among my people that's true," Aribeth said. "And among the more enlightened human societies, like here in Shadowdale. Only in barbaric nations do they try to restrict who you can marry."

Lada sat on the bed, rocking as she thought about what Aribeth had said. Aribeth watched her rock and said softly, "Fred does that, too, you know? When he's really stressed or thinking hard."

"Tick," Lada said. "It's common in Aspies. Self-soothing behavior. Or blind people...which, I guess...I'm not any more."

"Aspies?" Aribeth asked. "He's used that term, too. I never really understood his explanations, though."

Lada absently tucked her hair behind her ears and said, "Well, it has to do with how easily he gets overwhelmed, and how hard it is for him to deal with people. Of course, without the pain, he probably has less trouble with both."

"Oh," Aribeth said. "That makes sense. He really does well as a ranger, because he gets along better with animals than he does people." She looked up into the corner of the room nearest the head of the bed and said, with a good-humored laugh, "Yes, I mean you, hon." A black widow ran out along her web and pounced on a fly that had just got itself caught.

"Ranger?" Lada asked.

"A kind of warrior, who's more a protector of wild things than a pure fighter," Aribeth said. "There's a lot more to it, of course, and I could teach you if you wanted, since I'm a ranger myself, but that's the essence."

"That would suit him," Lada said, "but what about Yinepu? I mean...think, think....Kelemvor?"

"From the story he tells us," Aribeth said, "when he was sent here, Yinepu...he said Elminster would more likely recognize the name Anubis...introduced him to Kelemvor, because he doesn't have a copy here, unlike Bast. Bast's copy in our world goes by the name of Sharess."

In the kitchen, Fred cooked breakfast, while frantically thinking:

Who does spinning? Never mind that, can Bucko make a spinning wheel? I'll have to ask him as soon as I can get into town. And I'll have to ask if he makes knitting needles. There's plenty of people with sheep, so I should be able to buy all the wool I want. That's the ticket. Knitting keeps her sane. If I can keep her sane, maybe she'll be able to cope better, and maybe we'll be able to work out what to do. There's no internet, so she won't be able to talk to her friends...so we'll just have to introduce her to people here in the village who she can talk with. That'll help. Damn. Gonna have to remind her to not mention her feline side to anyone. I don't know how they'll cope with a lioness in their midst. I wonder if she'll be willing to do a proper wedding, now that she's here. I wonder if Aribeth would be willing to do a triple wedding. Gods, I hope so. I....

Freki bumped Fred's thigh with his nose and whined. The smell of singed ham filled the room.

"Damn it!" Fred cursed, as he scraped the ham out of the frying pan and tossed it into Freki's food dish. "There you go, Freki. Hey, where's Midnight? I haven't seen her in days."

Freki looked up at Fred, shrugged, as if to say it wasn't his problem where that irritating feline went, then ambled over to his food dish and sat down to enjoy a leisurely slice of ham steak.

"But what's this unlife thing? Is that like...zombies?" Lada asked. "How does that fit under nature?"

"Zombies, skeletons, crypt spawns, ghosts...," Aribeth said, nodding. "But that's mostly his paladin responsibilities."

"Umm...paladin?" Lada asked. "What's a paladin? He can't just ever do one thing, can he?"

"Can you imagine how dull he'd be if he did?" Aribeth asked, laughing. "Seriously, though, a paladin is a different kind of warrior – one who's dedicated to serving his God. In his case, he's a paladin of Kelemvor. And Kelemvor hates undead. So, Fred will go out of his way to kill undead whenever he runs into them."

"Oh," Lada said softly. "Hmm. Well, he'd definitely be cranky if he was bored. And, frankly, I would go hide. So, if you don't have politicians here for him to be pissy at, at least you have unlife."

"Lada, love," Aribeth said, laughing again, "one of the reasons we settled in Shadowdale is the lack of politicians. I don't want to be in the same building when there's a politician around."

"He'd get cranky," Lada said, thoroughly distracted by her thoughts, completely oblivious to what Aribeth was saying, "or my things would get taken apart. Or large batches of soap would appear."

"You say he makes soap?" Aribeth asked. "Real, honest to goodness soap? Why didn't he ever tell me that?"

"He probably didn't think of it," Lada said, shrugging. "But...what's so amazing about soap? He started making our own soap because we couldn't buy any that didn't make us sick. And, he likes chemistry."

"Wait until you see the soap we have to use," Aribeth said. "If there were a reliable trade route from Evereska or Waterdeep, I'd order soap from there, regardless of the price."

Lada stared at Aribeth, a look of stunned shock on her face. "Do...anything...regardless of price? Huh?"

Aribeth hugged Lada gently, laughing. "Hon, there are some things that are worth spending the money on. And honestly, with all the money we accumulated while we were on the run, it's not a problem. I mean, Fred's put in an order with Jamble the Eye for a caravan load of iron pipes so we can have water inside the house. Can you imagine that? Water inside the house?"

"You...don't have...indoor plumbing?" Lada asked, with a faint whimper. "Speaking of plumbing...." She put her hand on her stomach. "Speaking of plumbing, where can I go to freshen up?"

"Freshen up?" Aribeth asked, confused. She looked at Lada's hand on her stomach and then got an inspiration. "Oh! You mean, you need to use the outhouse?"

"I was afraid you were going to say that," Lada whimpered. "Yes."

"Let's get a robe and slippers on you, first," Aribeth said, rising to her feet and opening her armoire. "No point in giving anyone passing on the road a free show, you know?"

"Uh-huh," Lada said weakly, a hand covering her face as she blushed and nodded. "Thank you."

Aribeth took out several robes, eying each one critically, before settling on one that laced partway down the front. "Here we go. Your breasts are so much larger than mine, most of my robes won't fit you." She put the robe on the bed next to Lada, then took a pair of slippers out of the bottom of the armoire and set them on the floor beside the bed.

Lada hugged herself, covering her breasts with both arms, and whispered, "oops?"

"Oops?" Aribeth asked, then laughed, as she slipped into a robe herself, and slid her feet into slippers. "Once you're dressed, I'll show you where to go. Then we can see how Fred's coming with breakfast."

Lada slipped the robe on and sighed while stepping into the slippers. "Ug. I guess my new body doesn't have a butt, either." Then she continued, sarcastically, "Yeah, having the pelvis of a thirteen year old boy is really great."

Aribeth blinked slowly, then asked, concern in her voice, "Is it really that bad? I'm going to have to take you to see someone at the House of Plenty, then. Today, if possible."

"House of Plenty?" Lada asked, then nodded. "Yes. Fred and I were both grateful that we were both infertile." She paused, then mused, "With modern medicine, a cesarean would be possible. But if you don't have running water, I'm betting you don't have cesareans."

"Since you have new bodies," Aribeth said, "I don't think you can count on that any more. But we have herbs that can prevent you from getting pregnant. And Glamerie may know solutions that are more effective."

"Oh well," Lada said softly, brushing a tear from her eye. "Thank you."

"Who knows," Aribeth said, smiling encouragingly, "she may know a solution that would let you have a baby safely."

Lada bit her lip and shrugged, then sighed. "Might as well get the outhouse experience over with."

Aribeth led the way back to the kitchen from the outhouse, mentally noting the damage Fred had done to her garden the night before. She paused just before the door and let out a shrill whistle, while holding the door for Lada. The whistle was answered a few moments later with a feline snarl from the woods, followed by movement in the brush across the road.

"Umm...what's going on?" Lada whispered, stopping just before the door and looking around in confusion.

"I'm just calling Midnight," Aribeth said. "She's a good girl, but she likes prowling in the woods, so I have to call her home every few days."

Across the road, a panther's head poked out of the brush, followed by the rest of the cat, as she stalked toward Aribeth, her tail flicking back and forth slowly.

"Oh! You have a cat," Lada said. "OK."

When the panther was about twenty feet away, its tail lashing suddenly got faster, and it snarled, "My elf!" at Lada.

"Um...ok," Lada squeaked, taking a step back. "Your...elf? Can I...can I be her friend? And...and yours?"

The panther bumped Aribeth's stomach with its head, then walked around her before sniffing intently at Lada. "My elf," it purred, then cocked its head in thought before deciding, "You may. But if you try to steal her...." It yawned, showing lots of sharp, pointy teeth.

"Why would I steal your elf?" Lada whimpered. "What would stealing your elf mean? And..and..and...do you like the scritchins? And the pettins?"

"Midnight," Aribeth chided. "Be nice!" She looked at Lada, confused. "The scritchins? The pettins?"

"Breakfast's about..." Fred said, looking over from the stove. "Oh. You made it home, Midnight. Good. There's a ham steak here with your name on it."

"I get ham," Midnight purred. "See how good humans treat me?"

"I got ham, too," Freki barked. "Dad's just a good provider."

"Stupid mutt."

"Annoying cat."

Midnight stalked into the kitchen, rubbing against Lada as she went through the door.

"Don't mind those two," Aribeth laughed. "They're always taking pokes at each other."

"Does this mean I pass," Lada asked weakly, "or is she going to leave hairballs in my bed forever?"

"What an interesting idea," Midnight purred.

Lada moaned, covering her face with both hands.

"Be nice!" Aribeth chided. "No hairballs!"

Fred leaned against the counter, laughing. "Two, or three eggs, Lada? Over hard, as usual?" The smell of burnt toast started to come from the stove. "Oops. Damn! Sorry."

"Food," Lada said, confused. "Oh, yeah. Food. Two, please." She turned to Aribeth. "I'm sorry. I feel like all you ever do is tell people to be nice to me."

"He doesn't usually burn the toast," Aribeth said, laughing. At Lada's apology, she placed her hands on Lada's shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Lada, you've done nothing to apologize for. If I tell someone to be nice to you, it's because I like you, and because I think they're doing something that I wouldn't want them to do if I were in your shoes."

"Oh," Lada said weakly. "OK. I'm confused, but that's becoming very chronic. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Aribeth said gently. "Don't worry about being confused. It happens to anyone when they first arrive in a new place. Admittedly, most new places are at least somewhat like the old, but...from the things Fred has said, our world is very different from Earth."

"Oh yeah," Fred laughed. "Very."

"Uh-huh," Lada said, laughing weakly. "At least I sort of know the language. So it could be worse. At least there are people here being nice to me. Thank you."

Aribeth hugged Lada, then guided her to a seat at the table. "Not just being nice to you, Lada. Mister talkative over there loves you as much as he loves me. That means you are family. And that means we are going to do everything we can to make sure you feel at home."

Fred blushed, but nodded. "She's right, Lada. The reason I agreed to come here in the first place, rather than going West, is because I knew I would be protecting you by coming here." He checked the eggs in the pan, nodded, and flipped them over. "I'll tell you why I knew that later, but for now, just believe me, ok? And Aribeth knows how much I love you, because when we were first getting to know each other, I would tell her stories of you, and she would tell me stories of the man she loved, and we each ended up knowing everything the other could tell about the ones they loved."

"Oh," Lada said weakly. "That's all I ever say any more. Umm...thank you. Thank you, umm....I'm sorry I was mad at you."
"I'm sorry I was mad at you?" Fred asked, confused.

"Remember, I yelled at you last night." Lada said.

"This morning, actually, but so what?" Fred said, shrugging. "You were stressed."

"Yes, he's like that with me, too," Aribeth said, laughing. "It's like he doesn't understand how anyone can stay angry with someone they love. Even while he holds grudges for years against people he doesn't care about."

Aribeth filled a kettle from a tank on the end of the counter, put it on the stove, then put tea in a teapot. "Do you like anything in your tea?"

"Cream," Midnight purred.

"She's right," Lada sighed. "And sweet, if it's black tea. So...Aribeth...you're an...elf? What does that mean?"

"How clueless is she?" Midnight mrowled.

"Be nice, Midnight!" Aribeth and Fred said, in stereo, then looked at each other and laughed.

Aribeth took Lada's hand and brought it to her ear. "Can you feel the shape of my ear?" she asked, while gently stroking the upper curve of Lada's ear with her fingertips.

"Yes," Lada said, uncertainly. "It's...oh! Pointed." She shuddered as Aribeth's fingers traced her ear, then pressed against Aribeth's hand and turned her head to nuzzle against Aribeth's wrist.

Aribeth let out a soft sigh as she took back her hand and whispered, shakily, "And very, very sensitive." She shook her head and took a deep breath, then said, more firmly, "That's the natural shape of my people's ears We aren't human. In fact, humans and elves are even less fertile together than elves are normally – and an elf family might have one child in a hundred years."

"In a hundred years..." Lada said slowly. "How long do you live?"

"The oldest elf I ever met," Aribeth said, "was a little over 700. But most elves only live to between 500 and 600. Well, most elves other than sun elves, anyway. Sun elves live to around a thousand, give or take a century or so."

"And how old are you, if I might ask?" Lada said. "I know that's a rude question. I'm sorry."

"Rude? Why?" Aribeth asked. "I'm 137. I'll be 138 on the 30^th." She glanced at Fred's back and whispered, "I'm waiting to see if he remembers."

"You want him to remember a date?" Lada snorted. "You want him to have a concept of time? Then again, miracles seem to happen here, so...."

Aribeth laughed. "I know, I know, it would take a miracle. But he's surprised me in the past."

"Did someone call for a miracle?" Fred asked, laughing, as he delivered plates of ham, eggs, and toast to the table.

Lada giggled. "Thank you for breakfast."

"No problems," Fred said as he took a seat. "So what's on the agenda for today? Besides blessing graves, that is?" He sighed heavily. "I have this bad feeling I'm going to find a lot of empty graves this morning."

Aribeth reached across the table and squeezed Fred's hand. "You can at least bless the ones that are still untouched, sweetheart. Lada and I are going to go see Glamerie, then we'll probably go to visit Hoareb. Do you need us to pick up anything at the store on our way back?"

"Hmm...." Fred mused, while cutting his ham. "Well, you could stop at Bunko's place and put in an order for a spinning wheel, and see if he makes knitting needles. Other than that, see if there are any new spices at the store?"

Lada's eyes got wide and she "squee'ed" while looking at Fred. "Really?"

"Why?" Aribeth asked, then looked at Lada and asked slowly, "You...spin? And knit?"

Lada nodded excitedly. "Yes!"

"Then," Aribeth said, "we should probably ask around to find out who has wool still available this year. And we should try to put in an order for next spring's shearing."

Lada nodded. "Thank you!"

"Oh yes," Aribeth said, turning her attention to Fred. "You realize the flamestrike you called down in the garden hit right in the middle of the aubergines, right?"

"It...did?" Fred asked, his face falling. "Are any of them salvageable?"

"I won't know until I've had a chance to work with them," Aribeth said. "At least the pumpkins came through unscathed. They were the next closest."

"Oh, no, you like those," Lada said. "...wait...flamestrike?"

"Yeah," Fred said. "I wasn't wearing my armor last night, so I tried to avoid melee as much as possible. Flamestrikes took them out in groups, too."

"And left scorch marks all over the garden and yard," Aribeth teased. "I hope you remember where your work gloves are."

"What's that phrase from those Sparrowhawk stories?" Lada asked, tapping her lips and giving Fred a meaningful look.

"No fair!" Fred said. "I wasn't out hunting them! And besides, power armor doesn't exist in this world!"

Aribeth looked from Fred to Lada and back again. "Would one of you care to enlighten me?"

"The phrase," Fred said, "is, 'no armor, no nookie.' It's what the daughter of Bast in my stories was always telling her wife, a daughter of Yinepu." Fred grinned at Lada. "And since you're the only daughter of Bast in this house...."

"Then I claim all sunbeams," Lada said. "No, that'll make Midnight sad. Umm...then I claim half the catnip. No, I don't know. Then...then, then I need to go groom myself. Excuse me!" She got up and fled up the stairs.

"Life has just gotten a lot more interesting," Aribeth said, smiling.

"She has no dignity whatsoever," Midnight mrred.

Freki looked up at Fred. "Can I have her plate?"

"She didn't eat much," Aribeth said.

Fred looked at Lada's plate and said, "For her, that's a lot. She's going to have to learn that she can't get by on what she's used to eating. That's not going to be easy." He sighed and put the plate on the floor. "Here you go, Freki." Freki wagged his tail and wolfed down the food on the plate.

Once he had licked the plate clean, Freki looked up and whined, "She smells funny. Not human, not cat, more like both. Plus something else."

"Like I smell when I'm casting spells?" Fred asked.

"Like that, yes," Freki said.

"I kind of thought so. There's probably still a lot of divine influence on her from getting pushed into our world. It should go away in time." Fred reached down and scratched between Freki's ears. "Just don't deliberately scare her, ok, sillywoof?"

"I only scare my prey," Freki humphed, while leaning into the scratching.

"Would you like some help with your braid?" Aribeth asked, while standing in the door to Lada's room.

"Umm...yes, please," Lada said. "Umm...women my age...what am I trying to ask...I'm trying ask if women my age wear their hair up, down, covered, or uncovered? What I'm trying to ask is, what kind of hairstyle should I wear that won't get unwanted attention?"

"Unwanted attention?" Aribeth asked, "Oh! Don't worry, people around here aren't like the Bedine. You don't need to wear any particular hair or clothing style, as long as it's reasonably practical and modest." She entered the room, carrying a brush and a leather lace with her. "Given what people think of priestesses of Sharess, you may want to be more modest than usual, just to minimize the wrong impressions...at least, until you learn how to defend yourself adequately."

Lada looked down at her cleavage, swallowed, and squeaked, "OK. Do...do you have a shawl I can borrow?"

"It's a little warm for a shawl," Aribeth said, while sitting on the bed behind Lada and beginning to brush her hair, "but if you don't mind wearing leather, I can fit you out with a suit of armor that will be more than modest enough. And it'll help you if we have any more surprise visitors."

Lada chewed on her lip a moment, then said, "Oh. Functional, protective leather clothing, not something out of a fetish catalog."

"Fetish catalog?" Aribeth asked, chuckling softly while parting Lada's hair into strands for braiding. "You're going to have to tell me more about that, later."

Lada turned pink, chuckled weakly, and asked, "You mean, Fred hasn't already?"

"Let's just say that some things are better kept within the walls of the house," Aribeth said, then laughed softly. "Of course, just because we keep them within the family doesn't mean we can't occasionally surprise him. He's so much fun when it's the right kind of surprise."

Lada nodded and smiled, then said, "Mmmhmmm."

"So, Fred makes soap, does he?" Aribeth asked, thoughtfully working Lada's hair into a solid braid. "Does he also make candles?"

"Yes," Lada said. "Lip balm, deodorant, most things. Massage bars, lotion bars...."

"I'm not sure what any of those things are," Aribeth mused, "but it might just explain some of the things I've noticed in the kitchen of late."

"Thank you so much for doing this," Lada said. "The last two weeks of trying to do this have been absolutely horrible. What have you noticed?"

"I'm glad to help, love," Aribeth said, smiling. "After all, we girls have to stick together, right?" She chuckled warmly, then added, "I've noticed he's been saving the ashes from the stove, ever since we moved into the house, and he's been setting aside oil and fat, beyond what we use for cooking. He's also been buying beeswax by the pound, plus herbs and spices that aren't ending up in the food. When we were on the road, I would have thought there was something wrong, but now that we're in a permanent home, it's just been strange."

"I'm not sure about the ashes, although there's something tickling in the back of my mind," Lada said. "The rest of that, though, would definitely have to do with candles and soap and the like."

"And he hasn't said a thing about it," Aribeth said softly, thoughtfully. "I wonder if he's planning on a surprise...."

"Well, you did say your birthday was coming up," Lada said. "Didn't you?"

"Yes," Aribeth laughed. "It's just a little over a tenday away."

"So, the hard part's going to be not letting him know that you've noticed?" Lada asked.

"You're right," Aribeth agreed. "He has a way of getting information from me, even when I don't intend for him to." She laughed softly, "Of course, I'm not complaining...usually."

"At least I'm not the only one who can't help but tell him everything," Lada said, laughing.

"Your hair's ready," Aribeth announced, rose to her feet, and offered Lada a hand. "Shall we go find something more practical for you to wear?"

Lada reached back, felt her braid, and said, wonderingly, "Wow...I have so much more hair now....umm...yes, do you need help with anything?"

"Thank you," Aribeth said. "I could use a little help, actually. Fred usually brushes my hair for me, but he's busy doing whatever it is he's doing this morning...."

"Sure," Lada said, while following Aribeth. "How do you usually wear it?"

"I usually wear my hair down," Aribeth said, as she pulled her robe off, then sat cross-legged on the end of her bed. "Sometimes I'll wear archer's braids, but they're usually more trouble to put in than they're worth, especially when I can get the same benefit by wearing a good headband."

Lada sat on the bed behind Aribeth and began brushing her hair, meticulously working her way up from the ends so she didn't risk knotting it with the brush. "I've never managed to make a headband stay in my hair, which is why I usually wear a bun or twist, so my hair is certain to not annoy me."

Aribeth turned her head to smile over her shoulder at Lada. "Well then, we'll have to see what we can find in town, won't we? It'll be a fun day, and you'll get to see what Shadowdale is like."

A worried look crossed Lada's face, then she smiled brightly. "Yeah! I'm actually looking forward to it!"

"Why so worried, love?" Aribeth asked. "I'm glad you're looking forward to it, but do you foresee a problem?"

"Before...a day with even a quarter of the things you've mentioned, would leave me bedridden for a month," Lada said. "Well, maybe not a month, but at least a week."

"A week?" Aribeth asked, a worried look on her face. "What do you mean? Never mind. It sounds awful! How did you manage?"

"Fred and I took care of each other the best we could," Lada said. "Somehow we ate and...and the rest...well...," Lada shrugged, "...you learn to prioritize."

Aribeth hugged Lada, her hair forgotten. "I'm so glad you're here now," she said softly. "Now your priorities can expand, and we can be happy together." She smiled warmly and gave Lada a quick kiss, then rose to her feet and opened her armoire. "Speaking of which, if we're going to get out of the house today, you're going to need armor and boots."

"I'm glad I'm here, too," Lada said, smiling as she returned the hug. She froze briefly in surprise at the kiss. and watched Aribeth rooted through her gear.

"Here you go!" Aribeth announced cheerfully, pulling out a suit of chain. "Let me see if I still have the shirt and pants that go with it...." A moment later, a thin quilted shirt and canvas pants followed the chain. "Perfect! This outfit is the most comfortable armor I have ever worn in the summertime. I don't know where it comes from originally, but my guess is Calimshan or Mulhorand. Either way, it keeps you as cool as if you were wearing silk and sitting in the shade."

Lada gave the armor a confused look, then muttered, "At least it's more practical than a chain mail bikini." She studied the armor, trying to decipher how to put it on, then asked, "What do you do about undergarments here? Is there somewhere to buy some?"

"Bikini?" Aribeth asked, curiously, while continuing to search through her armoire. "What's that?" She came up with a pair of high boots, announcing, "Here we go! Dragon Slippers! Just the thing to wear when you're trying to learn how to get by in a new place." At Lada's question, she paused and blushed deeply, "Oh! I...well, the only clothing I have like that is...far from practical. I'm sure Hoareb could help, though. Human women need them far more than elves do, after all."

Lada smiled and said, "A bikini is...like undergarments that are designed to be all you wear. Usually worn when swimming or sunbathing...but...for some reason....the people who write stories think they make great armor."

"Why would you wear clothing when swimming?" Aribeth asked, confused.

"Oh! And those impractical undergarments?" Lada suddenly said, "If they were made of leather, they would be fetish wear."

"Oh!" Aribeth said, blushing deeply. "I guess I do have some, then." She turned her attention back into the armoire and took out her own outfit, a suit of green leather armor with irregular patches of brown and darker green, with soft leather boots and a plain gray cloak.

While Aribeth was pulling out her outfit, Lada worked out how to dress in the chain, then looked down in surprise as it adjusted to fit her as if tailored. "Oh! Um...weird! But...nice! How'd that happen?"

"How'd what happen?" Aribeth asked, pausing in the middle of donning her armor and looking Lada over curiously.

"Uh..." Lada said, while sitting to slip on the boots. "This changed size. And...what's special about these?" she asked, holding up a boot.

"Oh, that," Aribeth said, smiling. "One of the nice things about magical armor is that as long as you're close to its size, it adjusts itself to fit you perfectly." She chuckled and added, "The boots make lighter on your feet, and you can't be knocked down or frightened while you wear them. They also give you a nice resistance to spells."

"Not being frightened sounds like a good thing for me," Lada declared. "Thank you."

"That's why I thought you'd like them," Aribeth said, smiling. "They're called Dragon Slippers because the enchantment on them is powerful enough that even a dragon can not knock you off your feet, nor can it cause you to be afraid."

"A...dragon," Lada said, in disbelief. "Those aren't just in stories, either?"

"Oh, no," Aribeth said. "In fact, I've met a few." She sighed sadly, "Not under the best of circumstances, unfortunately....I'll tell you about that later, though. Sadness is not allowed today, right?"

"I'll do my best," Lada said, swallowing. She slipped the other boot on, then stood and asked, "Do I look ok?"

Aribeth looked Lada over and smiled, nodding, "Lada, you look beautiful." She moved her feet around to make sure her own boots were firmly in place, then offered her arm, while asking brightly, "Ready to face the world?"

"Thank you," Lada said, blushing, then nodded. "I'm as ready as I'm going to be."